Ok, I’m not one to complain or talk about my problems freely, but hey… this blog is simply for me to express my feelings for ME, not so much for the reader, BUT I greatly appreciate you reading this because it makes my heart happy, so if you choose not to read this complaint filled post, you are welcome to peace out and wait for a more uplifting post, which HOPEFULLY, main word hopefully, will come soon. Thank you.
Now down to business… I’m stressed… or not. I’m not really stressed at all. Sure I’ve got college apps I have still YET to fill out and send in, but that can be done anytime between now and about February. Also, I’m not really liking this blog layout… I need to change it. It’s kinda bothering me, but that’s another day.
Ok, now here go… I’m a little ADD if you can’t tell. Well today is not turning out to be very good. For 1, I’m bumming it, aka I look like I just rolled out of bed and put on the first thing I saw… (which is exactly what I did.) Then one of my teacher is a grumpy-head, but that happens, therefore I slept through that class. I actually did stay awake in the class in which I usually snooze in, my one and ONLY accomplishment of the day. THEN I just shot down. This is why I am feeling so… well… blah. You know that quote by Eleanor Roosevelt?
YES, well there is a certain person, might I add that she is indeed a educator, that makes me feel inferior, but I don’t give her consent… she just kinda takes it. I don’t like it. I despise going to her class because all that ever happens is
A. I get a paper back and it’s just not good enough for her
B. I try and participate and answer questions, but I’m never right
C. I’m having a terrible day and her lecturing us makes it 239487239473 times worse
OR
D. I see that she obviously likes some students more than others
I have had this “educator” for a while, but she has never really gotten to me until this year. It’s REALLY bothering me. I just want to cry every time I walk into that classroom. I’m not exaggerating one single bit. This class is NOT an easy one and I’m trying, I really am, but sometimes I just don’t get it. I read a poem, but I see that something is significant, but I don’t know why it is because I just don’t understand it! My brain is not very analytical and sometimes I feel there is just no hope at all. It’s like she doesn’t really understand that, so in turn she just make me feel worthless and I KNOW I have a LOT of worth. Now if I had to write about things like this, I would have an A freaking + in that class because I can blog like a BOSS. True story.
Anywho, I’m all about showing people why they have worth, so if I EVER become a teacher, which I am very much considering, I will try to NEVER make anyone feel inferior because I know I absolutely abhor that feeling. (There is a nice big word for ya!!!) I really just want to teach kids that Yeah, things aren’t always going to be easy, but it’s ok if you don’t get it. I will help you without making you feel like a complete and total idiot and letting you know it’s ok to ask for help! I know I don’t like to ask this teacher for help because every time I do it’s like she is thinking “This girl is in 12th grade and doesn’t understand how to analyze a freaking poem!? REALLY! She’s just not as good as little Miss Perfect sitting at the front. She is just not smart enough. She is just not good enough. She isn’t getting better, but she getting worse. There is just not much hope left for her.” That’s how I feel she feels. I know she doesn’t… well to that extent because she likes me… or at least I think she does, but she just makes me feel like nothing but dirt that she enjoys stomping on. I don’t like it, so I know I’m not going to do that to my students, if I ever have students. Seriously though, at this moment in time, all I feel like just going home and sleeping my life away. ALSO, a true story.
Ahhh, I feel better now. It feels good to let things out sometimes. It would be nice for this educator read this, but that will never happen. She would probably nit-pick every grammatical error in this joint, but I DON’T CURR! (<- dat be my ghetto tawk.) This is MY blog and I can talk however the heck I want to, so you can stick that in your juice box and just take a nice sip because juice boxes are amazing. Hahaha fooled you on that one, I KNOW! Seriously though, I love this blog because of the freedom I have.
Ok, I have written way too much. A whole 877 words as of the word “whole.” Thank you and I will be happier soon… after I nap. :)
-M. Philly
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