Voices

SO, my first semester is pretty much over, except for my Political Science exam in the morning which I am actively procrastinating studying for. I was just thinking today how much I have learned this semester in the majority of my classes and I how I feel a lot closer to Heavenly Father then I did before. As I was thinking of this, I remembered this post that I wrote a month or two ago, but never posted. I figured now was a good time to share it since this semester has come to an end, so here it is...


Hello friends! I just wanted to share a really cool experience that I just had in one of my classes. First off, let me just say that I love BYU! Truly, it's such an amazing place and I love it more and more every day. Okay, no I'm in a Voice Phonetics and Diction class. It is a class that technically I don't need to be taking since I changed my major, but I just decided to keep it because I figured it would be a good class that I could learn from. At first, things were a little different and I wasn't really enjoying it, but then there would be good days. Today was an absolutely fantastic day. This morning, while walking to campus, I was saying a prayer to myself because I'm a failure and forgot to kneel down and say one before I left. Anyway, I prayed to really feel the spirit with me today because there were some things going on today that I knew I would need a little bit more spiritual guidance and help. Immediately I felt the spirit and that was awesome and I went off to my 8AM Book of Mormon class. I love that class too and my professor, who is hilarious. That's just back story, so I go to my voice class at 11 and I walk in knowing we are working on our poem performances. We got into groups and started working. I was in a group and our professor was leading our group. This class is a lot about releasing tension, breathing, and just letting go of things to allow our voices to reach their max potential, so we were all supposed to get up in front of our group and recite our poem and allow the other group members to show us where our tension was and to help us release it. We had done this on Monday, but not quite like this. This professor is simply amazing. Person after person, she was able to identify where they hold their tension and why. The reasons ranged from not feeling you're good enough to just hearing the negative instead of the positive. Each person, she would tell them where the tension was and why it was there and it was completely true on every account, which lead to a few tears and positive reinforcement. My professor just kept saying how much she BELIEVED in each person she was working with and how amazing they were and how they are capable and it was completely sincere. There was never a moment that I thought she was just saying these things because she had to. She was saying them because she meant them and she wanted each person to know she was there for them! I didn't even get to go and I was completely overwhelmed with the spirit and a new love and appreciation for each person in that group, as well as my professor! It was simply amazing! It's hard to even describe how I felt or even what happened, but it was something I really needed. She said that we were meant to be where we are and with the particular people we are with and I know that is 100% true. I have never been able to feel anything like that in any of my classes and I am so looking forward to the rest of what this class has in store to teach me. I have learned a lot about myself from this class, which I really didn't think would happen. I could not be more thankful to go to a university that doesn't just allow it's students to move forward secularly, but spiritually. It's absolutely amazing and I KNOW without a doubt that this is where I am supposed to be and that makes me happy. Really and truly happy.

That class seriously did change me and the way that I view myself and others. It sounds cheesy, but I was really able to find my "voice" in this class. It was exactly the class I needed for this first semester at BYU and I am so happy I got to take it, along with all my classes... well, except Political Science which I could have easily done without. Anyway, this place has been good for me and I am happy that I get to stick around here and learn so many new things for the next couple years! For now though, I am going to enjoy not doing any school work for the next two weeks... after my last final tomorrow, of course!

-M. Philly

Different than I imagined...

Whoa... I can't believe that my first semester of BYU is almost over. I will be done with my classes this week and then it will be time for finals! It's crazy!!! These past few months have gone by so fast. I never could have imagined how much my life would change in just these few months. Guys, for real... Things have turned out a lot differently than I thought. I had made so many plans and had so many ideas of what my life was going to be like here, but those were not the plans that were meant for me, I guess. One of the only things that I did plan on happening that has happened is that I am happy... SO happy. SOSOSOSOSOSO HAPPY! Sorry to get a little carried away, but there is no other way I could express it right now. I always knew I was going to be happy here, but I figured I would find happiness in different ways than I have.

Before I came out here I figured that I would have a roommate or two that would not like me or would be grumpy just because of all the horror stories I had heard about roommates from people, but my roommates have been one of the biggest sources of happiness if my life. I cannot say enough how amazing my roommates are. They have become some of my best friends. We all get along and we sit around telling stories about our days or our lives. We are always laughing. There have been many nights that involved me laying on the floor of my bedroom, laughing until I cry or I am literally in pain from laughing so hard. We have gone on quite a few adventures, which are always fun and exciting. They listen to me and they love me despite my craziness. I am always excited to come home everyday and see their smiling faces. I love them so very much and I could not have imagined having such perfect roommates to make my experience here even better.

This is only 3 of the 5 roommates I have, but I just love this picture.

School has actually been a source of joy in my life, too. Sure, it's still school and there are plenty of things that I don't enjoy about it like homework and projects and papers, but I have learned so much from my classes this semester. The only class that I really don't enjoy is Political Science, but really... who would enjoy that class. I call it my nap class because that is all I do. Anyway, I have really come to love the rest of my classes. I have been able to learn so much. I have learned a ton more about the Book of Mormon in my Book of Mormon class and my teacher is super fantastic and interesting. I have learned more about theatre and acting that have helped me to better my talents. I have learned so much about myself, my voice, and how I live my life. All my professors are amazing and I cannot express how thankful I am to be at a university that creates an environment that allows the Spirit to be present. I have learned so much more here than I could have at any other university. I freaking love BYU, end of story.

I have made some pretty good friends here too who have made me really happy. We have people at our apartment a lot and we always have a good time. We have gone on many fun adventures, some of which I will never forget... for many reasons. My ward has been so fantastic, too. My testimony has been strengthened a lot because of my ward. I have also made friends in most of my classes, too. They make my classes much more entertaining and even give me more insight in classes. They all make me very happy and cheer me up when I am down just by being themselves. I am very thankful for them all.

This is my Family Home Evening family and they are so fantastic. :)

I have learned so much about myself and what my weaknesses are and what my strengths are. I have gone through some interesting experiences. There have been bad days and hard weeks. There have been moments where I wish I could have gone home and cry to my mom, but those feelings passed and usually pretty quickly. I had a hard couple weeks when a lot of things came crashing down on me and things ended and I was a little down, but I learned a lot about myself in those weeks. I was able to get over things and move on. I gained a lot more confidence in myself and I just realized that I am kinda really awesome and that I can do anything I want to do because I am capable. My testimony was strengthened and I have been so much happier since then because of all those reasons above. I have learned that things don't always turn out the way you plan, but they always turn out the way they are supposed to. I believe that with all my heart.

Overall, I am just so dang happy and I am loving my life. I have honestly never been this happy and I have so many people to thank for that. Only a couple weeks until I get to go home and I am so excited to see my family and my friends, who I have missed very much and I get to snuggle with my sweet little nephews, who are the cutest things ever. Oh, those precious little boys!! Anyway, that is all for now. Thanks for being you! :)

-M. Philly

What's up, Utah?!

Hey guys! I wrote this post a week ago and failed to post it, so here it is... just a little late.

Hey guess what guys?! I'M AT BYU!!! Pretty exciting, I know. I have been told by a few people that I haven't updated them on what's going on. Really I didn't think people were all that interested, but since people are then I am willing to share how my first couple weeks have been here in Provo.

Well, I moved into my apartment on Thursday (August 28, if you want dates) and that was a lot easier than I expected. I was really scared, to be honest. I couldn't eat and I felt sick because I was so nervous. First off, I met my roommates the night before when I dropped my stuff off before going to see some more family. Let me just tell you, they are the bomb.com. There is no doubt in my mind that Heavenly Father made sure I was in the perfect apartment. It's only been 2 weeks and I have already danced in the kitchen, done “parkour” in the parking lot, and even sung Hannah Montana, all things I would only do in front of people I am comfortable with. It is pretty great. I really like my apartment and the whole complex. I definitely picked the right place. (Go me!) My ward is really great and can I just say that being in a Singles Ward is amazing! It is so much more reverent and the hymns sound so good because all these young people have good voices. It's pretty crazy! The whole living situation is great and it is such a comfort to call it my new home.

Now school is another whole thing. To say it has been overwhelming would be a bit of an UNDERstatement. I am just now getting to the point where I can get to my classes without having to look up the room number and looking at the campus map on my phone to get to the correct building. Yeah, I had to do that my first week, no lie. I only had to turn around two or three times and I have not tripped, fallen, or run into anyone... yet. (I am sure my time will come soon. I pretty much just jinxed myself right there. OH well!) My first week was a bit much for a transfer student from little ole' Roxboro. In that first week I managed to move to a new state with all new people, start school, question my major, drop two classes, add a new class, and change my major, all of which were not stressful at all. I can proudly say that I did all of that without shedding a tear. I thought that was a bit of an accomplishment. With a little help from my mother, sisters, my roommates, and my patriarchal blessing, things are good now. Everything has been figured out and I am beginning to really enjoy some of my classes. I legit got to take a nap in one of my theatre classes the other day! Yeah, my professor said it was okay and even good if we fell asleep! (We were doing some relaxation exercises, so sleeping was acceptable... amazing.) My major is now just Theatre Arts Studies compared to Pre-Acting and I am happy with that for now. Knowing me, I'm bound to change my mind sometime along the way, but not for a good while. I really love that some of my classes begin with a prayer and spiritual aspects are brought into almost everything we learn. That makes me feel so much more comfortable and just makes me happy! I also love hearing the choir singing hymns while I do homework, or hear them being sung in different languages in another building. Now it's not like that everywhere. They were playing some dubstep on the quad the other day, no joke. My mom said it right, there is no place quite like BYU and I am really loving it.

As for the social and adventure aspect, I am a failure. JUST kidding! I have done a pretty good amount of new things in the past couple weeks. I hiked up to the Y, which I see every single day and I love it, and that was pretty much death. Seriously, the altitude difference is killer you guys. I felt like a bit of a wimp because of how much I struggled. I also hiked up to a little waterfall with some people. Went to my first college “party,” which is not ANYTHING you would suspect. We seriously went to another apartment and had ice cream... total rager! Had Hot Tub Monday, which is just my roommates and myself chilling in the hot tube at like 9:30 on Monday nights. This week we had lots of people join us and I swam in our freaking cold pool in like 50 degree weather, and I loved it! (I seriously did.) We went to a rooftop concert this past weekend, which was pretty cool. I have even gone on a date, so I think I can say I have been pretty social and adventurous in the past weeks. I still have a lot of improving to do when it comes to just putting myself out there and meeting and talking to new people, but I have time... plenty of it.

All in all, things are great. I have only had one little hour long spout of homesickness talking to my mom on the phone, but other than that I have been good. I am finally getting to the point where I can stop freaking out, relax, and just enjoy myself. Well, that is all for now! I will have to post pictures of my apartment and such once I actually put pictures up in my room and decorate. I'll get to that... one day! Anyway, I will keep you updated! :D

- M. Philly

FAQs

Hey everyone! I apologize for the plainness of the page. I will just say it's "under construction." Well, it's been a year since I posted and what a year it has been. A lot of things have happened and a lot of things have changed for me. It's pretty crazy what a year can do for a person! I have had a bunch of people basically asking me the same questions about what's going on, so I thought HEY, why don't I just answer some of these questions on here!! Plus, a few people have told me I should give a little update, so I thought, great idea peeps!

1. What have you been up to these days?!
Well, I graduated Piedmont Community College back in May with an Associates of Arts and I am going to Brigham Young University in the Fall! Go Cougars!!!! I am working at Electronic Solutions and Carver Agency Insurance for the summer. Both jobs are fantastic and I am quite enjoying them!

2. Brigham Young... Where is that? Why there? What are you studying? When do you leave?
It's in Provo, Utah. I used to say that I didn't want to be like every other Mormon and go out out west for school, but after much thought and prayer, I realized BYU was the place I wanted and I needed to be. Thankfully, Heavenly Father felt the same way! I am going to study Acting, which I am very excited about. I was going to go for Communications just because people told me a Theatre degree would be stupid, but I decided not to listen to other people and study what I really love and I am very happy with that decision. I am leaving August 21. (40 days, but who's counting?!)

3. That is pretty far from home. How do you feel about that? Do you know where you are living? Roomates?
Far from home? It's only about 2,000 miles away! It is kinda the point though. I have lived in Roxboro my whole life, so I am excited to get away... far away. I love Roxboro and of course I am going to miss being in the South, but it will be nice to be somewhere new. I'm actually not too worried about getting homesick. I mean, I am going to miss all my friends and my family... a lot, but I have family and friends out in Utah and Idaho, so if I do get homesick I have people out there for me. Overall, I am stoked... a little nervous, but stoked! I am living in an apartment off campus with 5 other girls, who I will not know until the day I move in. That is a little scary, but I have faith that they are going to be awesome and that they will love the fact that I'm from the South! (Counting on that actually!)

4. What are you going to do without your best friend?!
I don't like to think about that. Every time I bring up leaving to her, she says "You're not leaving." I keep telling her to just come with me, but she won't do it. I am going to miss her a whole freaking lot, but I will be back at Christmas and we will talk all the time. I keep joking with her that she is going to forget all about me as soon as I leave, but I know that's not true. I will miss her, but we can survive being 2,000 miles away for a while, I just know it. Ereline for LIFE! :)

5. You are going to keep us updated on all your adventures, right?!
I sure hope so. I plan to post about what's going on and let you guys know that I am alive and well. Sorry to be the stereotypical Mormon girl with a blog... actually, I'm not sorry. I enjoy it, so I will post as much as I can.

Well, I think that is about all the questions I can think of that people have been asking me a lot. I hope I did not bore you and that you are feeling like you know me a little better. Anyway, that is all for now! Thanks for reading and have a fantastic day or night. :)

-M.Philly

The teacher ALWAYS learns more than the student

I feel like that is a valid statement. If you have ever taught anyone anything, you will know that this is true. You always end up learning more about yourself from your "student." I could also have titled this post something else, but I didn't want to give everything away so easily. I just want to talk about one of my "students" and my absolute favorite one at that. I cannot put my feelings all in this post because it would be absolutely impossible and I could never express everything as eloquently as she could, because she is quite a genius and has a way with words. All that aside, here I go....

For Darby

A name as unique as the girl. Probably one of the greatest people you will ever know. If you know OF her, but do not KNOW her, you are truly missing out. She is quite tall, taller than me. She is beautiful, with a beauty all her own. She is smart, probably smarter than you (definitely smarter than me). She is funny, without even realizing she is. She is just Darby and that is something really spectacular. I don't think she gives herself enough credit because she really is amazing. I met Darby when I was in 11th grade and she was in 8th. My band director introduced us and told me that I would be teaching her how to read music and play the xylophone/marimba/piano. Honestly, I was terrified because I didn't know that much myself and to have to teach someone the basics of music didn't sound like any fun at all. I had a hard time interacting with new people and I was not looking forward to helping this little 8th grader. I can say that I am so grateful that  I was given that wonderful opportunity. After we warmed up to each other, I realized she was a quick learner, and by quick I mean road-runner fast. I was amazed at how fast she picked things up. As we got done with the basics we actually got to know each other. She told me of her crushes and I laughed as she blushed. I told her my stories and she laughed as I blushed. We laughed, probably too much for band class. We got to the band concert and she outplayed me and that is a fact. We spent the summer apart, but there were Facebook posts and messages exchanged. There were jokes of Mick Jagger/John Mayer and Stephen Spielberg. Once we started marching season, I got to watch her play that bass drum (like a boss) while I waved my arms around on a stand, which I still don't think I ever deserved. I encouraged her and told her that she as awesome because she rocked sunglasses on the competition field because she got kicked in the eye the night before and STILL competed. She boosted me up and hugged me as I cried after those disappointing competitions. After all that was over, it was back to concert band and she was beside every single day. We were lunch buddies. She ate those dang pizzas every day and got me addicted to them. I would make her go the vending machine to get me fruit snacks that never came out. (EVERY TIME) During band, she would tell me of her boy troubles with boys that were not good enough for her. I listened, tried to advise, and she still knew all her music better than I did. Besides the  boy drama, we had fun and lots of it. Whether it as laughing at Swanson or dancing to Celtic Ritual, which still makes me giggle, there weren't many dull moments... besides me occasionally falling asleep on the marimba. That freshman became my best friend. She pushed me to better because she was better than me. She outplayed me at EVERY single concert and that made me really happy. As my senior year came to an end, I was saddened that I would not get to stand next to Darby everyday and watch her play that marimba with ease. This year, Darby got to conduct (my) group of 7th graders and that made my heart so happy that I could burst. Darby is also going to the NC School of Science and Math, aka a school really smart peoplez. I couldn't be more honored to call myself her friend. So Darby, Darbles, Darbster, my apprentice, my right hand (wo)man... thanks. Thanks for making me laugh and cry. Thanks for listening to me and letting me listen to you. Thanks for always being there for me. Thanks for teaching me more about myself. Thanks for being you. You are and will always be one of the coolest most amazing people I know. Never think you are not good enough because you are. You are wonderful in every way possible. You are my hero and I mean that. Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.  I love you and will love you forever.

-M. Philly

In Erin's Dreams.

That was the title of the document saved on my USB... I thought I would share the raw thoughts of my bestest best friend. I laughed quite hard at this and she is possibly going to kill me for posting this, but it was just too good not to share. Excuse the lack of grammar and spelling... This was from a couple years ago. (11th grade I believe) There are 2 different stories, so be prepared for the awesomeness... you may want to put your pee-pants on.

"I dont have dreams about you i dream about puppys and bunnys floating in the clouds and they say to me ERIN ELIZABETH HICKS ur are the coolest person i have ever met and your freaking amazing then they fly away. after they leave than this pink bunny with lime green ears comes hoping along and says to me erin i wish i could be like u, oh and ur friend madeline is a loser and she is JUMBO SIZE. but wait there’s more................. Then i grow wings and fly all around the world and u will never guess what i see???? i see a statue of me in every state and people were mesmerized at how beautiful and AMAZING this statue was!"


"so the other day i was you know just walking down the street and minding my own business and taking my sweet little ole time when I suddenly came upon..... dun dun dun aaaaaa rhino. i was like really a rhino thats AWKWARD. so i just kept on walking... u know like any normal person would do. than out of the corner of my eye i saw cupid flying through the air and he looked so perfect and beautiful i was MESMORIZED i mean people dont see cupid everyday. Than out of no where a gangsta with a JUMBO SIZED attitude rolled down his window of his bat mobile and shot cupid all the way ^
down down down down
i started crying and just didnt know what to do people would never believe me if i told them that i saw cupid die I mean come on now this just doesnt happen in everyday life to a regular person.
than his body floated up to the sky i looked at the gangster with my stink eye and ran away of course i didnt want to get shot like an arrow (do you get the symbollism)
welll anyways i ran all the way home and on my doorstep was an easter basket and i became a liitle suspicious considering it was not easter time. i looked inside the basket and than i grabbed the blue easter egg and BBOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!
hhahahahah just kidding silly i didnt die or anything because im the one telling the story i wouldnt kill myself are you like retarded. how could i be telling you the story now if i was dead
or maybe just maybe.........
IM A GHOSTTTTT!!!! BOO!!!!
and i will haunt you in your dreams and i will be able to see you drool in your sleep all over your jumbo sized pig tattoo
welll thats the end of my story just thought i would tell you"

I hope you enjoyed Erin's dreams... I know I did! Now, I will leave you with my favorite picture of her... that she happened to take with my laptop...

She is pretty precious. Well, I hope we have provided you with a laugh or at least a smile. Thanks for stopping by. Come back soon, oh and tell your friends, too!

-M. Philly

Live, laugh, love

Today has been a little unusual. I am on spring break, so it's has been very nice to sleep in, but it is throwing my brain off from my usual routine. I woke up at about 11:30 to my mom calling me to clean out the microwave, which is probably my least favorite thing to do, but I woke up to find something that made my heart a little weary. I check Facebook to find a status saying "RIP Jesse." For those of you who don't live in the Boro don't know Jesse, but he was an a young man who lived in Roxboro a year or two ago and he was diagnosed with Leukemia in December of last year. Truth is, I don't think I ever met Jesse, but I knew who he was. (That's how it is here in Roxboro... everyone knows everybody even if they haven't seen them.) I don't know all of the details of how his condition was, but I knew that not too long ago he decided he didn't want anymore chemo and decided to just live his life why he was still here. When I woke up to find those few statuses, my heart sank. I quickly went to his blog and read a post that said he had been watching the ‘Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives’ and was researching some of the hot spots and his mom said maybe they could eat at some of those restaurants. I just thought to myself, he wasn't be able to do that and so many other things. I thought of all the students at RCS and knew that the school was just at a stand still. I kinda just sat and thought for a minute and then went about my day, but he just kept popping into my head. I couldn't quite grasp how I was feeling. Later on I went to practice for "Pirates of the Chemotherapy," an absolutely life-changing and beautiful show that I am so thankful to be a part of. I shared the news with my fellow cast members and I was amazed at how quickly they wanted to help or to do something, seeing that the show is about a cancer support group. After we went through a scene, we took a break and we were talking about death. Sounds lovely doesn't it, but it actually was. They were all talking about losing loved ones, but how peaceful it was because they all knew God was real and that He was going to welcome their loved one's with open arms. I was overwhelmed with the spirit and peace. I knew that today was Jesse's day and that he is happier now than he has ever been. God has a plan for us and he knows exactly how our lives are going to pan out and when we are going to return to him. That is the beauty of the plan of salvation. I know that when we die, we will still be with our family and loved ones and we will have the opportunity to learn and teach about Heavenly Father and Jesus. It is such a comfort to know that.  I am so blessed to have an eternal family that I know I will have with me forever because my life would SUCK without them. I know for many people, Jesse's passing is going to be hard to deal with, but you just have to think about how happy he is to not be suffering anymore and that Heavenly Father needed him right now. God works in the most mysterious ways, so make sure to listen to the promptings of the Spirit and live for Him. Live today like you are going to die tomorrow, because you never know when God is going to call you home. There are so many things I need to work on to become the person I know Heavenly Father wants me to be. I need to act now. I need to live every moment trying to do His will, not my own because I KNOW if I do that, then I won't have to fear death or anything at all. The Lord will take care of me and you if we do that... I promise.

http://jessesjourney.wordpress.com/

This is the link to Jesse's blog and it is something to read. That family is an inspiration and their faith amazes me the more I read. I will be praying for his family and friends and I hope you will be too. Just remember to be like Jesse and celebrate life every single day.

-M. Philly